Pappa wants mamma naked
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
