So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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