She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
