I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
