Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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