she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
