Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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