So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
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I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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