evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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