I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
North Korea, Best Korea!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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