She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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