I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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