woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You ruined the universe
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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