I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
