drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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