haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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