adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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