easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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