I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
