I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
