Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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