I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
