It's Friday. Sex?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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