the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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