I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
