kristin has been a bad kristin
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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