Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i drank out of a bidet.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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