i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
