Swine flu is the new snow day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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