New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
