Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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