It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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