Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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