you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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