i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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