walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
