I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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