Porn is love you can see.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
