Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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