are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
