We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
