You're earring is so big in my mouth
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
