Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
