Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
