I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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