Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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