we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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