This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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