it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
