I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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