Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
