a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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