woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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