Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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