It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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