drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
