I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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