Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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