just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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