On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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