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oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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