I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
